Outtie

I'm getting ready to be absent off of blogger,gs poetry, myspace and all of my internet watering holes. I have too much to tend to. Constellation of a Block Star. And the Boombox said,. I got shows in other countries that I'm so not ready for...physically and spiritual wise. Oh and there is the little issue of me finessing my MC game before the summer. And getting out of debt before my first show overseas in March. I need sum time to get my nuts and bolts aligned, you smell me? Like a couple of weeks or months. Don't worry though I'll be back...wid sum new shit...promise....

**DON'T USE CREDIT CARDS**

Training Camp

Those guys I did the song with...went with them to Training Camp @ Club Pyramid. I was part of the entourage,looking as sexy as I wanted to be. And I can take constructive criticism. But I felt like they was trying to come at my head and use me for my sexual prowess. My best friend's ex the CEO (Red Tape), and my ex is one of the rappers (Sin Blood). He the one in the white and black. And my phone never takes pictures at the right time.

So yeah. Sin and Tape actually give me encouragement. They tell me to work hard and have patience,stop being so eager. And they told me how I need to conduct myself in public. I liked that. They told me I sucked without telling me I sucked.

Them out of the way, just wanted to say I can't respect a nigga that tells me I got to suck and fuck the whole crew to get down....the 2 unnamed niggas. I don't do that. As sexually charged as I act and dress I'm not a ho, I'm not trading favors. I don't want to be Lil Kim or Foxy Brown. If my poetry is nasty. My bars have no choice but to get nasty. Cuz I feel like poetry is rap without the hook and the beat.

I know I ain't nice as Hov...yet. But I feel like I'm nice in my development. I just need to work on my delivery and my flow. I be aight. I don't know I guess they (un named assholes) thought by telling me I was trash I would be so upset and hungry to be on the team I would drop to the floor and suck their just forming dicks.

I ain't a booth rat bird. And just because they think that I should be I have to be the nicest.I have to be nicer. I have to be nicer. I must be the best. Number 1 because if you a female you got to work 500% harder....I won't lose...definitely not to them

You know what I hate?

He said,"Why don't you stick with poetry?"


"Because I'm a rapper."

"You lie to yourself too much"

"If you think so"

My Love Life...lol yeah right

Okay so I have 2 dudes that I deal with mainly

Flow 1: 36, Queens, Known him for a year, sugar daddy, in the street type of nigga, quiet, 1 child, got me pregnant, no type of emotion (he reminds me of Dexter), never had an argument

Flow 2: 19, Harlem, officially met in August, but he had been seeing me in the hood for years, spoiled brat turned bad, swagtastic, man whore, vane, Jamaican, stroke game is crazy, we b Ike and Tina

Flow 1's problem is that he don't know if he want to fuck with me on the long term or short term. Flow 2 feels a certain type of way because I'm a little older than him, and he cant get away with the shit that he does to young chicks as opposed to me. Flow 1 dissapears weeks on end. Flow 2 pops up with miscellaneous bitches to spite me when I piss him off (we both live in the same building)
You know what? It don't even matter. I'm cutting both of them off. Flow 2 I been avoiding because I know how he move. So I can duck him forever unless he come to my door...Flow 1 kinda adheres himself to me. Calls me from different numbers trying to catch me up. Think I might just change my number...

Here goes the Why's

Why I always get these rough around the edges, chase their own death type niggas...why?...why cant I just get a rough neck that want to come home at night....Actually Sin was that...but anyway he fucked himself

Apparently he told my so called best friend the real reason why he "dealt" with me and it was a purely sexual thing....but thats a lie. He felt a certain type of way because she pressed him and he told her some dumb shit....

Why did this chick make an ultimatum regarding my relationship without telling me?
Why ask the nigga, "Is you trying to fuck with Kiya or not because....."?
Why is that her business?

I dead ass felt like she took away my choice.
Then I blacked on him later that day...for something unrelated but the way I came across I think he knew why.

Why tell that girl that?


My head hurts and I'm horny....

The Beginnings of the the Female MC

Okay I decided I needed to stop the bullshit and just get on my MC. Because I honestly I dont have the soft lyrical sing song voice that is sought in the poetry indiustry. I'm hood. I'm not quite lady like but I can appear to be so. I'm far from dumb I just dont like being a know it all...because you cant so you always frustrating yourselves and others. I am very concious and very militant. But I'm not a militant black person. I'm just militant and I feel like...like...the game is soft.
There are no female MCs. So the game is soft, bias and in most cases hateful toward women. (And before my male readers even start; I know the differeance between ladies and bitches...and I don't shun songs that sing about genuine bitches but there are virtually no songs calling women queens, goddess, mother nothing. I dead ass can't remember a mainstream MC doing a song about his mother in the past 3 years...wow) Where is the lyricism about women as something other than...
Why when Hip Hop Freshman came out this year there were no females on the line up? Not one. Yeah there is Remy but...she on lock. Lauryn done lost her mine...there is something lacking...

Here is what I have notice in my 2 weeks of being a female MC

1) When dudes find out that your rapping they interview you more than a fucking broadcaster

2) Or they don't believe you

3) Or they think you rhyming about dicks and shit

4) When I practice freestyling in the street ppl look at me like I got bugs in my ear

5) My mother thinks that this is phase (I'm sure many people do actually)

but those are just the cons

1) Since I been on my shit I'm bumping into mad men behind the curtain industry type heads (i.e.) a jamaican basment party on the hill I just happen to be walking by

2) Many who are already doing there thing want to take me under there wing

3) For every person who tell me I'm wack 4.3 tell me I'm hot (yeah I'm keeping count)

4) I'm cautious who I let know I'm spittin

5) Realized how much I love music and how fine my ear is picking out notes and other type things

6) The sky is the limit

7) I don't fight the music, the music fight for me

8) I was born to do this and if you tell me I'm lying I think you stupid

9) I don't know know what High Kun means but that's my booth name

10) I'm a backpack goon rapper ya dig?

**High Kun**

But I'm your daughter...

It seems like its always a struggle when I ask my mother for something. And I rarely ask she for anything. I haven't had an ipod since like Febuary. But I'm working on a song and I want to prep myself while I'm on the move as oppsed to doing it in the 6 hours I am home. So I call my mom and she tells me,"We have to discuss that and then I'll give you the Ipod." right? But my whole thing is 1) she doesnt listen to it 2) She knows I'm a junky and music the pipe 3) She let her dusthead boyfriend give it to his homeboy and he had it for a good 3 months (a stranger)
I'm on my Way of the Peaceful Warrior shit. My mother doesn't have to trust me, like or even love me. And I'm OD cool with that. But when she does things like this...it hurts...you know?
She gives me all the guidelines and rhetoric that she would give a average person on the street. Why?

Trying to be like Ghandi but these pussies wanna push me...

i dont want to go into details but sum lame ass suge knight looking nigga owed me sum money. He giving me a whole bunch of who shot john. Then started laughing at me. Like my dude if u think im living foolish cool but dont laugh at me when u taking money out me and mines pocket? What part of the game is that and I'm female...but basically I "blacked" as Charles Hamilton calls it but instead of doing it in the booth i did it with the booth. thats right ladies and gentlemen I beat that bitch nigga with a microphone stand and broke the gate to the mic and the stand. My dude Cash the nigga thats been recording me accapella, im sorry (it was his shit i broke on this nigga head). But niggas really need to watch their company. In fact niggas just need to treat niggas like they would want to be treated themselves. Then we wont have split lips and knots on our big abnormally shaped yogi bear looking headz...

Little Bastards and Bitch Ass Po Lice

Okay sum I'm coming hom from the hope center. Minding my buisiness and the sum cops nearly hit me in they car. I said,"Wat are you doing?" the cop driving aint say shit but this ugly bitch with glasses on the side of the car gonna say,"Shut up you crazy bitch!" now me being the lil spit fire that I AM go to the precinct. They trying to make me report the incident another day. Why dont we just let it go..,blah blah fucking blah. When the bitch came into the precint she was still popping shit. Calling me out of my name. So I'm yelling screaming calling internal affairs writing down everyones badge number all types of shit. Then they start acting nice. Kept me waiting for an hour when they said it was going to be 3. Tried to fuck up my complaint paper work and I made them type it over until it was to my satisfaction.
So I left.
Whilst walking up Lenox avenue a bunch of stupid lil grown niggas gonna wet me with like 7 bottles of water. I chased them assholes around for a while. I threw my plate of food at them now I'm hungry.
Oh and my feature was cancelled today because the air conditioner dont work at the venue...love love loving this week.

Smack and old man? YES!

Okay me and my road dog Rainmaker is in the Hope Center on the computers conducting various shit we have to do for the tour coming up. I walk outside to smoke a ciggarette and sum old man says to Rain,"If that was my girl I wouldnt have her dressed like that..." Bear in mind I had on full length jeans, jacket then only thing he had a problem with was my midriff. So I spit back,"You need to mind your fucking bizness. I'm grown like you grown and can wear watever the fuck I want." This nigga walks away so I follow him every step. I'm trying to have a decent dialogue with partner and this nigga call me a "whore" So I start calling him all types of bastards, old mother fuckers and rah rah rah. Then I had to stop. And it came clear into my head. I'm gonna punch that fool in his mouth ne4xt time I see him or get sumone to fuck him up. Now on a normal day I wouldnt have cared, but I'm hungry, broke and have to perform tonight on a full stomach.
Who made this motherfucker the "Ho Patrol"?
Cuz there was a bunch a niggas on the corner selling weed to the yute. Now I wonder if he ever told those fools to stop selling halucenigens to grade schoolers? Because I DO! I guess everyone wants to be some kind of police. Old men suck. The last of the good died when mine passed. Cuz if my grandfather seen me he would have said,"If one of these fools holla at you make sure they take you shopping!"
Had 2 end on a positive note lol

Yeah Yeah Yeah

You really know how shallow people are when they assume they know about your lifestyle. 2 things happened...

I was sitting in my Pop's house (Abiodum Oyewole, not really my pops but watever) and he has like like these historians and poets come there and such. there was this one dude Africanus. He reminds me of a black toad and one of my cohorts refers to him as uncle ruckus from the boondocks. But anyway I'm explaining sumthing about my mother and I mentioned I was a stripper and this asshole gona say.
"Only whores do that"
"So you have slept with strippers Africanus?"
"No it's just that if you willing to take off your clothes for money you willing to go all the way."
"How you figure?"
And it went back and forth like this for a while everyone else in the room was just looking at him like he was stupid. (Never taking into account that he knows I have a boyfriend, he know I dont even present myself like that, not to mention we live in manhattan that got the highest rate for HIV and AIDS...sometimes I think ppl think I'm stupid) lol
I been coming to Dun's house for years and everyone knows me. This old fart just started coming recently, never seen him in there for the 6 years I been coming.
But whatever my homeboy came to my defense saying his girl used to strip. One of the dudes in there used to strip. This chick from BK a had barel met go really heated and was damn near screaming on Africanu) But fuck all that...

He closed minded because I could easily say that every man that has been to jail is a faggot on the down low. That would mean that Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Ethridge Knight and even Dun was taking long stroke in dey batty. But I have better sense than that because nothing break me. And if nothing can break me into doing something greedy. I would expect the same from my brethren.

And as far as the 2nd incident....shorty should have known better long as dem know me

I miss my grandma Lynn only chick that didnt judge me and smoked profusely lhoodmao

Fuck being inviting to people
I want everyone to stay away from me.
If you feel like I'm going to contaminate you in some way stay far from me.

Assholes aren't so bad

because when they make me angry I go to the Kitchenette on 124th and Amsterdam and get a peanut butter chocolate pie. Them tings is hella good. It's a reward for being pissed off. No?

When will Mz. Gigi be free of assholes, will she succeed in her campaign of celibacy, will she kill her mother for having a mean and hateful mouth...you'll have the answers to all these questions and more in a future posting of Harlem Girl's blog...lol...

**click**

Try better than that pa...

This guy asked me if he can holla. I tell him I'm married nigga had the unemitigated gall to say,"You cant be happily married if you work in this nasty spot"
"I dont dance in nasty spots, there is a dressing room showers and at least 3 bathrooms wherever I work."
"Nah not nasty like that. I meant it in describing the place."
"You in here you must be a nasty nigga"
"I'm just saying I got 500 if you hop in the whip"
"Pa my hubby make 5k a day. He buying me a whip. Be easy."
"Bitch!"
"Thank you"

14 Flashback

Its like I'm running into every asshole I paid sum attention to in my adolescence.
Okay, so I'm coming home with my chick Nay. She live right next door to me and she happened to be a feature at the club I was at tonight. We get a ride home together and I mean as soon as I hop out the whip and get my "dancer bag" this asshole I loss my virginity too (maybe that isnt the right term) step up and tries to holla but he notice it was me til I swept the hair out my face. He looked at Nay looked at me then asked where we was going and hollered at she. I comes back downstairs to walk my dog and this nigga still outside. It was like 5 in morning what the fuck was he doing? Even crackheadz sleep at that hour but anyway. He push up on me and asked me if I was "stripping" and I said "no, I'm bartending". I usually dont bitch up in front of niggas but that nigga got a "special" place in my chest. Not love in any form or fashion, not even like, its more like a seething hate.
Basically he told niggas that he rubbed chapped stick on my butt and dicked me down. In actuality he was drunk and didnt know where he was sticking it so I rubbed the chapstick on my cooty and bent over. I never told him I was a virgin so he assumed that he was in my butt. One day I'm walking out the Deli and this nigga scream in front of the whole 40 wolves crew that he fucked me in my ass. I HAD TO MOVE. Niggas would follow me home from school and say that shit. I was talking to one of my mother's friends she walked off and sum little niggas came out his face. When she turned around and looked at me I could have died.
I went to Brooklyn and aint come back all summer and half the fucking fall yo. Imagine being "that chick" and you aint? They was saying that shit so much I had to move before I started to believe it. Then came the weed selling, crack dealing, dope slinging...I'll stop there. I think the only thing I aint do is sell my pussy or kill a man...A Harlem Nigga Ruined My Life! (Life, being the time at that moment cuz Life great now)
Even now on a lonely night one of these old drunk assholes will come say sum shit like,"Let me do you in your butt." This is why I dont date Harlem niggas (you always remember your first 2 lhoodmao). Not to mention the fact he was 26 and I was 14.
I aint never raising a daughter in this bitch.

The Recurring One Night Stand

This dude I boned like 3 years ago can't get it through his head that I dont want to have relations with him. Apparently since he is always fresh and fly with Mauris and Guccis on his feet he feel like I'm letting sum golden oppurtunity slip through my fingers. He calls me at least every month telling me he just want to be friends and when I see him he is the Million Hand Monster.
But I only let him bone once because yes I thought he was cute but after boned I realized he didnt have much of a brain outside of Dipset, Hennysey and plotting to rob other niggas (some I knew). I dont want to be around no slouch lazy ass nigga like that yo. Thats a weak man.
The icing on the cake came when he wanted to go to his homeboy party on the other side of the hill on Broadway. We hop in the cab and we split up the fare so I told him to give me $3 since its 6. Then the cab driver gonna say its 8. I asked him for one extra dollar this dude is like,"Yo ma you fucking dance you make more money than me." What that got to do with me? I ask myself and then I did the thing a logical Harlem girl would do. I kicked him the fuck out the cab and balled those 3 dollars up and threw it at him. I went to a next party and let him walk 10 blocks home.
I'm not saying I'm a gold digger but if you saying you like me and all that ree ree ree and you cant put up a dollar you a stingy muthafucka (not only with ur guap but with yourself). I like to deal with dudes who is free with they money.
Like my Lito he represents for a Queen. Broke niggas stay far from me.

Considering rappers? They are users maybe like 90% of them

I was dealing with this dude last summer nothing too exclusive. He was a rapper. I thought he was crazy as hell but had a method to his madness. I am always critical as hell to dudes who are trying to fuck me. He was always telling me he was drawn to my strength. He liked the fact that he could step on any block in Harlem with me and niggas gave me respect. But we would just chill and smoke and go to listening parties together.
He would tell me he was a virgin and thought it was cute. I still wasnt gonna fuck him. I'm just suspicious like that, but those suspicions didnt stop me from letting him eat the snatch (he had really pretty pink lips). And im thinking to myself this dude ate my pussy 2 weeks after he met me. Maybe like 2 weeks later he was trying to get at my homegirl then I found out they was kissing at my best friends birthday party.
So I realized that I could only fuck with him on a professional level. Cuz I also found out that
He tried to fuck my best friend before he met me, went to school with another chick I knew then tried to make out with her in front of me at my mentors house. Out of no where he starts giving me the cold shoulder but always in my face when I'm lighting a spliff. Matter fact he always asking me to sponsor HIS HABIT and buy weed from my cousin. A couple of times he has come to my house use my computer and just dipped barely saying 2 words to me. Swears he is celibate and is not gonna fuck with nobody and pop up with a wifey.
But the topping on the cake was when he brought sum horse face bitch into my mentor house introduced her to me and started kissing her in my face. He a fuckin dog. And i wouldnt have written this but I feel like bitches is trying to smite me. DONT B A KEYBOARD GANGSTER!