Mr. Hamilton

Remember when we used to wander up Lenox ave and I used to tell niggas listen for Charles Hamilton? I just wanted to let you know all them niggas that was telling me you was wack and thought you was gay last year is on your dick this year. Hard. Your the reason why I rap. You may already know this. I just felt it bared repeating lol

Congratulations Mr. Hamilton you did everything you said you would

Industry of Cool

Random thought: Are all these performers that are popping up everywhere genuinely unique or are they just feigning individuality? Note: I love sum of the new artists out, sum I know in person. But they are genuinely into their craft then there are these
little tenny boppper "bright myspace having" internet type stars that really draw attraction from the art. Its not,"Yo shorty had bars" its "Look at shorty jacket". Don't get me wrong I know that an essential rule of the "urban ent. world" is too always be fresh and clean (and I adhere to these rules with a tool kit) but there was a subtle nuance to it in generations past...its like an all day fashion show. And not for nothing but I would feel mildly insulted if an artist tried to win me over with bright jackets and sneakers. Now if the artists is genuinely talented he or she can wear whatever the fuck they want as long as they have pure intent. Perfect Example: Andre 3000 (the first rapper I wanted to marry, is that a Pisces thing? Ima ask Erykah one day).
So the questions remains, where is the pure music and talent in the Industry of Cool?

Outtie

I'm getting ready to be absent off of blogger,gs poetry, myspace and all of my internet watering holes. I have too much to tend to. Constellation of a Block Star. And the Boombox said,. I got shows in other countries that I'm so not ready for...physically and spiritual wise. Oh and there is the little issue of me finessing my MC game before the summer. And getting out of debt before my first show overseas in March. I need sum time to get my nuts and bolts aligned, you smell me? Like a couple of weeks or months. Don't worry though I'll be back...wid sum new shit...promise....

**DON'T USE CREDIT CARDS**

Training Camp

Those guys I did the song with...went with them to Training Camp @ Club Pyramid. I was part of the entourage,looking as sexy as I wanted to be. And I can take constructive criticism. But I felt like they was trying to come at my head and use me for my sexual prowess. My best friend's ex the CEO (Red Tape), and my ex is one of the rappers (Sin Blood). He the one in the white and black. And my phone never takes pictures at the right time.

So yeah. Sin and Tape actually give me encouragement. They tell me to work hard and have patience,stop being so eager. And they told me how I need to conduct myself in public. I liked that. They told me I sucked without telling me I sucked.

Them out of the way, just wanted to say I can't respect a nigga that tells me I got to suck and fuck the whole crew to get down....the 2 unnamed niggas. I don't do that. As sexually charged as I act and dress I'm not a ho, I'm not trading favors. I don't want to be Lil Kim or Foxy Brown. If my poetry is nasty. My bars have no choice but to get nasty. Cuz I feel like poetry is rap without the hook and the beat.

I know I ain't nice as Hov...yet. But I feel like I'm nice in my development. I just need to work on my delivery and my flow. I be aight. I don't know I guess they (un named assholes) thought by telling me I was trash I would be so upset and hungry to be on the team I would drop to the floor and suck their just forming dicks.

I ain't a booth rat bird. And just because they think that I should be I have to be the nicest.I have to be nicer. I have to be nicer. I must be the best. Number 1 because if you a female you got to work 500% harder....I won't lose...definitely not to them

You know what I hate?

He said,"Why don't you stick with poetry?"


"Because I'm a rapper."

"You lie to yourself too much"

"If you think so"

New News

Music brings people together in so many ways. Case in point I haven't talk to my ex boyfriend/ex fiance/ex fuck buddy (yes all one person) in like a month. All because my "best friend" wanted to get involved in my personal life. But anyway I happened to be featured on a track he was supposed to be on. I recorded it yesterday. He has been telling me "good work" since this morning (New Year's Day). Oh did I mention I was playin the part of a sexaholic? I was moaning throwing in sum choice phrases like...you gotta wait to hear the song. I actually did rap but because of time constrâints niggas cut 8 of my 16 bars. Why did that feel so good with him teaching me how to deliver? Why did he have be one mixing it down? Why it felt like old times? Why I love this little nigga so much? It felt good to come together about music besides the old why you fucking this wack bitch, why niggas in our business, beating each other senseless in the lobby and various different schemes we cook up together. All that smiling, directing, praising that shit was tight. I know its gonna be good this year

Then I went to pops house

From Malcolm X Blvd to Home of Malcolm X

Poetry really does take you new and interesting places. Well new places. So for instance me being from Harlem I don't know nothing about Omaha Nebraska. Oh I'm lying it's the place Malcolm X was born and it was one of the main settings in the movie Belly. Lol. Besides that all I know of Nebraska is fields and shit. This poetry head hit me and asked if I wanted to do a poetry festival. I was excited. I like to keep my mind open. I like the country anyway. It's quiet. Peaceful. All things I need right now. Besides I like wandering in other peoples hoods. Makes me feel invincible. Too bad the festival is Summer 2k9. Fuck it something to look forward to

Peaches and Cream from Georgia to Paris

I'm going to the land of Riley (great grandmother's maiden name); Georgia. I'm staying with a friend in Atlanta. Really hope I get to go to Savannah. You already know I'm hitting all the poetry venues. 7 days and nights of shopping, eating, poetry and debauchery. A vacation coming at such a perfect time. New York iz driving me crazy!!! Its too much of everything I used to do before its boring. I love Harlem til the day I die though. The bodegas, 99 cent stores, EG, Dun's House, The Polo Grounds but I'm demanding a change of scenery.

I'm going to Paris in January but I need some travel aids before I go...
1) New laptop
2) USB cord for my camara
3) Massively obscene sneakers and jackets
4) "How to Speak French for Dummies"
5) Ipod
6) BlackBerry

I just want to update on old gadgets

I don't know what to expect in Paris...

The Beginnings of the the Female MC

Okay I decided I needed to stop the bullshit and just get on my MC. Because I honestly I dont have the soft lyrical sing song voice that is sought in the poetry indiustry. I'm hood. I'm not quite lady like but I can appear to be so. I'm far from dumb I just dont like being a know it all...because you cant so you always frustrating yourselves and others. I am very concious and very militant. But I'm not a militant black person. I'm just militant and I feel like...like...the game is soft.
There are no female MCs. So the game is soft, bias and in most cases hateful toward women. (And before my male readers even start; I know the differeance between ladies and bitches...and I don't shun songs that sing about genuine bitches but there are virtually no songs calling women queens, goddess, mother nothing. I dead ass can't remember a mainstream MC doing a song about his mother in the past 3 years...wow) Where is the lyricism about women as something other than...
Why when Hip Hop Freshman came out this year there were no females on the line up? Not one. Yeah there is Remy but...she on lock. Lauryn done lost her mine...there is something lacking...

Here is what I have notice in my 2 weeks of being a female MC

1) When dudes find out that your rapping they interview you more than a fucking broadcaster

2) Or they don't believe you

3) Or they think you rhyming about dicks and shit

4) When I practice freestyling in the street ppl look at me like I got bugs in my ear

5) My mother thinks that this is phase (I'm sure many people do actually)

but those are just the cons

1) Since I been on my shit I'm bumping into mad men behind the curtain industry type heads (i.e.) a jamaican basment party on the hill I just happen to be walking by

2) Many who are already doing there thing want to take me under there wing

3) For every person who tell me I'm wack 4.3 tell me I'm hot (yeah I'm keeping count)

4) I'm cautious who I let know I'm spittin

5) Realized how much I love music and how fine my ear is picking out notes and other type things

6) The sky is the limit

7) I don't fight the music, the music fight for me

8) I was born to do this and if you tell me I'm lying I think you stupid

9) I don't know know what High Kun means but that's my booth name

10) I'm a backpack goon rapper ya dig?

**High Kun**

Planning the Book Release

Okay I have been ironing out the details. I'm having the book release party for Constellation of a Black Star in November date tba I'm having it at Revival.




Cakeman Raven is making my Cake




And you already know the book is going to be the truth...

Last Random Night of Summer 2k8 (S and G)

If you aint know I'm an E.G. denizen....the only condos in Harlem with crackheads and a pool lol



I guess gentrification makes me look sexy









Silky had like 25 groupies



we love the kids



repping WORDSTOCK...I'm the first lady



ran into my daddy he did a double shift



we had a photoshoot with a crackhead





got sum dutches from Nose (deli man)



vandalized a vending machine



walked on the wild side



got wet



swung on sum poles



waited for assholes

Constellation of a Block Star in a Dufflebag Near You

Yeah its been a long hard process. Much blood sweat and tears. Much leafing through my notebooks I been keeping for the last 3 years. But finally after my 10 years in the poetry game I'm self publishing my first compilation of poems and prose. Owww. I'm muy happy with myself I never thought that last year around this same time I would be publishing a book of any scale.
I had much time to reflect on these things. After coming out unscathed in the streets of Harlem and Brooklyn, 3 asshole boyfriends and occasionally run ins with the NYPD (figurative and literatively) and the death of my childhood friend Channel I was still able to produce work of substance. Even though I had vowed to myself at one point that I would never write again because I was finding out how ugly the world is and I didnt think writing about it would do much (how stupid was I?).
She never left me I just thought she had. Who can appreciate beauty without sunlight?

Yo....dead ass....im so there

My lil sister, sidekick and ride or die just got peppered sprayed by the the boys

cool random weekend

Little boys from the Dipset block (151 b/w amsterdam and broadway) are so funny. I was walking up the road and this little boy ran off the stoop, stopped right in front of me, rub his hands down my thighs and smacked them. Now obviously if this was a grown man I would have been pissed and swinging, but it was so innocent. He probably seen his mother and father doing that. Lol. His mother snatched him away and was laughing hard too but the shit was so random my lil sister wanted to take a pic. We did. And their mother who was like 9 months pregnant was selling nutcrackers so we got the strawberry daquari joints and it turned into a completly funny night. I love Harlem.

Little Bastards and Bitch Ass Po Lice

Okay sum I'm coming hom from the hope center. Minding my buisiness and the sum cops nearly hit me in they car. I said,"Wat are you doing?" the cop driving aint say shit but this ugly bitch with glasses on the side of the car gonna say,"Shut up you crazy bitch!" now me being the lil spit fire that I AM go to the precinct. They trying to make me report the incident another day. Why dont we just let it go..,blah blah fucking blah. When the bitch came into the precint she was still popping shit. Calling me out of my name. So I'm yelling screaming calling internal affairs writing down everyones badge number all types of shit. Then they start acting nice. Kept me waiting for an hour when they said it was going to be 3. Tried to fuck up my complaint paper work and I made them type it over until it was to my satisfaction.
So I left.
Whilst walking up Lenox avenue a bunch of stupid lil grown niggas gonna wet me with like 7 bottles of water. I chased them assholes around for a while. I threw my plate of food at them now I'm hungry.
Oh and my feature was cancelled today because the air conditioner dont work at the venue...love love loving this week.

Smack and old man? YES!

Okay me and my road dog Rainmaker is in the Hope Center on the computers conducting various shit we have to do for the tour coming up. I walk outside to smoke a ciggarette and sum old man says to Rain,"If that was my girl I wouldnt have her dressed like that..." Bear in mind I had on full length jeans, jacket then only thing he had a problem with was my midriff. So I spit back,"You need to mind your fucking bizness. I'm grown like you grown and can wear watever the fuck I want." This nigga walks away so I follow him every step. I'm trying to have a decent dialogue with partner and this nigga call me a "whore" So I start calling him all types of bastards, old mother fuckers and rah rah rah. Then I had to stop. And it came clear into my head. I'm gonna punch that fool in his mouth ne4xt time I see him or get sumone to fuck him up. Now on a normal day I wouldnt have cared, but I'm hungry, broke and have to perform tonight on a full stomach.
Who made this motherfucker the "Ho Patrol"?
Cuz there was a bunch a niggas on the corner selling weed to the yute. Now I wonder if he ever told those fools to stop selling halucenigens to grade schoolers? Because I DO! I guess everyone wants to be some kind of police. Old men suck. The last of the good died when mine passed. Cuz if my grandfather seen me he would have said,"If one of these fools holla at you make sure they take you shopping!"
Had 2 end on a positive note lol

I Mean You Didnt Think they were going to Convict those bastards...did you?

Ima sum this up because this shit is pretty simple.
Sum bitch ass po lice lit sum nigga up on sum BS. Shot so crazy there is still holes in track 3 and 4 at the Sutphin LIRR station. These cops shot and killed the dude in cold blood.
Have you seen sumone shoot a gun? Imagine that shit 50 times. They had to be shooting and equivalent of 3 minutes. Richard Brown, (Queens DA with the frog voice) gonna sit there and say that Judge Cooper was right. And Obama sucking wild cock telling black people to have faith in the "Justice" system...

BUt.
People need to get angry. I dont believe in that passive shit. I believe that if you riding on me and mines im riding on you. Meaning that if a cop is abusing sumone the cop should get abused. And people dont see that. People dont need to get out there and shoot cops but they do need to make they voices heard. Because if you let the police ride on you they gonna wear you out and when you get real tight, youll be so enrage youll invite death upon your person so I'm saying this. Fuck being law abiding, quiet and complacent. Let your voice be heard. Or pay the consequences later. Because that verdict means its alright to kill us. Because the verdict was Justice. "Just Us gonna run this." Marshall Law is hear yo. Get a fucking gun.

Gotta move...again

Because having a doorman doesnt work in your favor. They are as nosy as the old ladies that queue alongside the building participating in the Newpipe Olympics. Crackheads own condos too. Having a terrace make me think of the movie "Vertigo". I'm too close to everything thats old and shabby to me. I dont gentrify I just want to get off of Lenox ave.

14 Flashback

Its like I'm running into every asshole I paid sum attention to in my adolescence.
Okay, so I'm coming home with my chick Nay. She live right next door to me and she happened to be a feature at the club I was at tonight. We get a ride home together and I mean as soon as I hop out the whip and get my "dancer bag" this asshole I loss my virginity too (maybe that isnt the right term) step up and tries to holla but he notice it was me til I swept the hair out my face. He looked at Nay looked at me then asked where we was going and hollered at she. I comes back downstairs to walk my dog and this nigga still outside. It was like 5 in morning what the fuck was he doing? Even crackheadz sleep at that hour but anyway. He push up on me and asked me if I was "stripping" and I said "no, I'm bartending". I usually dont bitch up in front of niggas but that nigga got a "special" place in my chest. Not love in any form or fashion, not even like, its more like a seething hate.
Basically he told niggas that he rubbed chapped stick on my butt and dicked me down. In actuality he was drunk and didnt know where he was sticking it so I rubbed the chapstick on my cooty and bent over. I never told him I was a virgin so he assumed that he was in my butt. One day I'm walking out the Deli and this nigga scream in front of the whole 40 wolves crew that he fucked me in my ass. I HAD TO MOVE. Niggas would follow me home from school and say that shit. I was talking to one of my mother's friends she walked off and sum little niggas came out his face. When she turned around and looked at me I could have died.
I went to Brooklyn and aint come back all summer and half the fucking fall yo. Imagine being "that chick" and you aint? They was saying that shit so much I had to move before I started to believe it. Then came the weed selling, crack dealing, dope slinging...I'll stop there. I think the only thing I aint do is sell my pussy or kill a man...A Harlem Nigga Ruined My Life! (Life, being the time at that moment cuz Life great now)
Even now on a lonely night one of these old drunk assholes will come say sum shit like,"Let me do you in your butt." This is why I dont date Harlem niggas (you always remember your first 2 lhoodmao). Not to mention the fact he was 26 and I was 14.
I aint never raising a daughter in this bitch.

Considering rappers? They are users maybe like 90% of them

I was dealing with this dude last summer nothing too exclusive. He was a rapper. I thought he was crazy as hell but had a method to his madness. I am always critical as hell to dudes who are trying to fuck me. He was always telling me he was drawn to my strength. He liked the fact that he could step on any block in Harlem with me and niggas gave me respect. But we would just chill and smoke and go to listening parties together.
He would tell me he was a virgin and thought it was cute. I still wasnt gonna fuck him. I'm just suspicious like that, but those suspicions didnt stop me from letting him eat the snatch (he had really pretty pink lips). And im thinking to myself this dude ate my pussy 2 weeks after he met me. Maybe like 2 weeks later he was trying to get at my homegirl then I found out they was kissing at my best friends birthday party.
So I realized that I could only fuck with him on a professional level. Cuz I also found out that
He tried to fuck my best friend before he met me, went to school with another chick I knew then tried to make out with her in front of me at my mentors house. Out of no where he starts giving me the cold shoulder but always in my face when I'm lighting a spliff. Matter fact he always asking me to sponsor HIS HABIT and buy weed from my cousin. A couple of times he has come to my house use my computer and just dipped barely saying 2 words to me. Swears he is celibate and is not gonna fuck with nobody and pop up with a wifey.
But the topping on the cake was when he brought sum horse face bitch into my mentor house introduced her to me and started kissing her in my face. He a fuckin dog. And i wouldnt have written this but I feel like bitches is trying to smite me. DONT B A KEYBOARD GANGSTER!

The Writing on the Bus Stop

If you live in Harlem. You already know that every block from 110th street to 165th b/w 1st and Broadway got those blue signs with Magic Johnson. They inform the public the 81% of HIV/AIDS new diagnoses are Black and Latino folk. That's whack. But if you look at the sign in the left hand corner it says **as of 2005** so basically the World Health Organization and the State of New York had this knowledge for 2 years and unless Magic put up his own guap it wouldn't be advertised to us. And any sane logical mutherfucka know that its an issue of public health but they dont care about your collective Black or Brown ass.
People. Wake up. Protect yourselves. Get tested. Know that 1 in 3 Black or Latino youth (14-24) is walking with it. Know that HIV/AIDS is a man made virus (Robert Gallo) engineered in Russian and Ungandan labratories, made for the dangerous drug AZT (that was banned during the Nixon Administration). Know it was sponsored with American dollars. Know that the man who engineered it gets a 30 million dollar kick back every year your brothers, sisters, friends and parents die. Know that there is a patented cure for the HIV/AIDS that the goverment will not give you.
Get angry. Get loud. Ask questions. Let's build a labratory and a real "skool". Lets stop dying because our brains are lazy yo. Be an intellectual "terrorist" and stop screaming it on your mixtape. A change got to come. Please.


go to http://www.uspto.gov/ and type in 5676977 in the quick search box and kiss my blog in the morning. get well and stay concious brothers and sisters.